Today was just another day trying to clean the house with a young toddler running around. As I was finishing up the dishes, Kalvin ran into the kitchen and proclaimed, "Oh no, Baby made a mess." And there all along the hallway were about 10 Ritz crackers crumbled to bits and obviously spread around. I sighed, left the remaining dishes while Kalvin happily helped clean up the baby's mess. *It's really no wonder Tristen prefers Duane over me, I get after him all day for making messes and teasing Kalvin.*
It was just moments after I finished the dishes (but still had not finished cleaning all the kitchen) that I smelt Tristen was poopy.
Come on, it was only 11:00 and this was his third poopy diaper of the day! I was immediately frustrated. Probably mostly frustrated that life does not happen perfectly chronologically. I'd rather clean the kitchen in peace, step back and take a deep breath and enjoy the moment of achievement. Then walk from the kitchen to find my boys in the living room laughing and sharing their toys with one another. I'd join them and play race cars with them, think about how much I care about them and then sniff a poopy diaper. Well, life just doesn't work that way, so why can't I just accept that? Why is it always difficult for me stop a project momentarily to change a poopy diaper? Someday I will overcome this. Really! I'm determined to not sweat the small stuff. Someday.
So, as I began getting frustrated inside, I said, "Tristen, why do you have to poop so much everyday?!" Then not knowing the magnitude my own answer would have, I said, outloud, "Cause it's my job." From there, my mind pondered that answer. It is my job! Duane works at the hospital all day and goodness, I would not like to live with the stress he is put under there! Overall, I really love my job being a mother, but there are things about it that I'm learning to make my favorite; cause it's my job.
As I was walking the halls with Emerson last week at church I began pondering the same question. Stratton wouldn't stay in nursery and I am pretty sure the entire church could hear his screaming. I eventually had the two of them crying in the hall pacing back and forth . I was thinking why, why am I even here? The same answer came to my mind as I was trying to patient for 3 hrs...I am here because it is my job. Another Mom in the ward passed me several times with her two young children and she says to me isn't it so fun being a Mom to two young kids? I really thought about what she said and overall I couldn't think of a better job or calling.
ReplyDeleteAngie, the pictures of the boys are sooo so cute! They make good "pretty" boys. They have such pretty eyes and lips! How fun for you :) Nice job on the pictures, as always.
ReplyDeleteAs far as being a mom of two..... Wow, what a difference. Its only been a week for me but it is a lot more work. I wish I would have known how much more work this was gonna be so I could have enjoyed being a mother of one more :) ..... But then I think it will be like that every time I have another one. So enjoy the two.... right??? Doesn't it make you wonder, "HOW IN THE WORLD DID OUR MOTHER HAVE TEN!!!" She is pretty amazing.
Hang in there. My advice.... Well I guess its Blake's advice. He's always telling me, "just let your hair down." He's really good at always just being cool with it all and having fun. The house doesn't always have to be clean. Dinner doesn't always have to be on the table at 5 or 6 or at all sometimes. Just enjoy the time you have with your family.
Dear Angie,
ReplyDeleteYou have brought me to tears, because everything you have said, I have felt and I can relate to everyone of your feelings! I am so glad you can recognize your exasperated feelings, express them, sort them out and desire to feel differently, and move yourself to greater heights. It will take all of this life time, sorting through every experience, stretching ourselves and desiring something better of ourselves to become what God has intended for us. This life sure isn't easy. Our will is constantly needing to submit to a greater design. You are doing such a great job. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for loving your children even when they smash Ritz crackers into your floor and poop their diapers for the third time in just one morning! God knows how to teach us patience, and it comes in the form of adorable children whom we love with all of our hearts!
I love you, Angie! I am so proud of who you are and what you are becoming! My prayers are with you and your sweet family! Keep up these wonderful blogs that inspire me, to be a better Mom!
Love always and forever,
Mom
Angie... I suppose you might be right, but as for me, I still believe there are cleaning fairies out there for me yet :) I somehow was able to stay on top of it pretty well with two kids, but with this third stinker (who I love oh so much!) it's just not possible for me and my house is pretty much a disaster all the time, except for about two hours after I clean it.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a smart woman and a great mom. I'm so glad you are in our family and married to my wonderful bro.
By the way, Kalvin in that bottom picture looks like a miniature Duane! I've never seen the resemblance look as strong as in that picture...crazy! Looking forward to seeing you guys soon!