How do I make this look good?

You may have heard the term "50 footer" referring to a vehicle that looks good from 50 feet but if you get much closer, it's not so nice. I'd say that our truck is an aerial 50 footer. If you're 50 feet straight above the truck would look nice, but I'm not sure how nice it would look on the ground from even 150 feet (I'm sorry Duane, I know you're tired of me trash-talking the truck we have)... It's just that every time I drive somewhere there seems to be a new rattle and ever since you put the thought in my mind that maybe the engine would drop out of the front because of how rusted and corroded it is, I'm just scared. The streets here in New York are not flat and smooth, they're bumpy and patchy so at every bump I cringe with the thought of the engine dropping from the front. We've owned the truck now close to a year and I'm ready to let it go.
A couple times now, while driving I'll hear a scraping noise and pull over to find something else dragging behind the truck, so I'll secure it as best I can with twine or spare bults, jump back in the truck, and continue on as if nothing happened while avoiding eye contact with the other drivers I've slowed down.
If someone will buy it, we'll sell it. I'm just not sure how we can make it look good...

Sure, the front doesn't look too bad.

 But this is kinda hard to hide...

(the previous owners attempt to cover up).

and this... (like the new exhaust pipe Duane put on? It's the shiniest thing this truck has seen since being constructed in 1995).

 Some of the underbelly rust...

 And a little more. Kalvin LOVES to pick at this and Duane and I love to yell at him when he does.

I shouldn't care what people think about me or the vehicle I drive and in the branch, I don't mind so much. It's mostly when I go to clients homes where I'm trying to put on a professional front that it's a little embarrassing. At the last wedding I shot, in Vermont, to make a long story short I was late to the wedding (and it was not my fault, but I didn't know how to blame the bride on her wedding day)... Anyway, they were being wed on a hill and in order to get to the parking area, I had to drive past all the wedding guests (though I didn't know that till it was too late). I will forever laugh remembering the embarrassment I felt as I came blazing up the hill and around a corner to see the all the wedding guests sitting peacefully in their seats till I disturbed the moment with my loud, old-beater, rusted truck peeling around the corner with my tires spinning on the loose gravel. They hated me so bad! That night as I spoke to the groom about the entire situation, he laughingly told me his take on the entrance I had. In a previous conversation I had with he and his fiance, I told him about the truck I had, so was aware of what to look for the day of the wedding. Well, as they were all waiting for me to arrive, he was with his Best Man and Groomsman. In the distance he could hear and loud rumbling truck and he mentioned to his buddies that he thought it was me. Then when he saw me tearing up the road, coming around the corner, he said, "Yep! That's her!"
The good news is, we've got our eyes set on purchasing a car this weekend! It's a 2003 Mazda Tribute with 90K miles and from a private owner. The bummer news is that I have a family shoot later today, so I'll have to make the trip to their house in the truck...