DAellsworths: How to avoid the inevitable

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

How to avoid the inevitable

Last night Duane and Angie got into bed to close a long day and cuddled in close together. Duane started to drift off as Angie lie awake planning out the rest of forever (cause that's her "thinking" time) when suddenly her tummy rumbled. She flexed her hind quarters to keep from disturbing the intimate moment, but Duane was almost asleep anyway so she whispered, "I hope you don't dream of outhouses tonight, Honey".

"Huh?"

"I have gas."

"Ahhh...." as he slowly slides away from her.

Intimate moment lost...

Darn cannery beans! If Mom hadn't bought us 30, #10 cans of them and I didn't like the taste so much, we'd probably have 6 kids by now!

3 comments:

UnknownJuly 27, 2010 at 7:30 PM
Angie, you are hilarious!!!!!
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Just Be YouJuly 27, 2010 at 10:28 PM
This is hilarious! What makes it even funnier is that when we were camping the canned beans were actually a topic of conversation. They really do seem to cause a lot of gas. We were trying to decide if the longer they sit the more gas they cause . Who knows ...
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The Higham FamilyJuly 28, 2010 at 8:05 AM
Hahaha!!!!!!
You're brave to make this so public....
hilarious!
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Enjoying the Moment

4-25-13

Duane: "Tristen, we are going to play a game to see if you can be quiet for 5 minutes. That means, I don't want to hear anything come from your mouth until this timer goes off. Ready? Go!"

A few seconds later Tristen makes a sound and then says, "But Dad..."

Duane inturrupts: "Tristen, I have to start the time over now."

Tristen: "But Dad, I can't hold my breath that well!"

3-30-12
I called Duane so Tristen could talk to him
Duane: Oh, hi. Is this Kalvin?
Tristen: No, it's me!

3-28-12
Kalvin: So Mom, why are you brushing your hair? Because you're going to church?
Mom: No, my friends are coming over.
Kalvin: So you want to look pretty when they come over?

3-24-12

During our visit to a maple syrup and chicken egg farm, Kalvin saw little packaged maple candies and asked, "Mommy, you should ask them if that is candy or chicken poop..."

3-17-12
At the St. Patrick's Parade Kalvin asked, "Where are all the people that pinch?"

3-15-12
Kalvin strained his face and smiled as big as he could and said, "Look how big my smile is!". I laughed because he tried so hard that he crossed his eyes too.

3-9-12

Tristen to Mom (speaking slowly and dramatically): You can't watch that movie! Too scary! Only boys watch it!

2-21-12

William likes to save up his poop and make one BIG poopy diaper every few days; reminds me of another baby I had (Kalvin!). Today he filled his diaper pretty full and Kalvin and Tristen came to see the diaper change since we all witnessed the loud exposions William gave. When I opened the diaper to clean him up, Kalvin let out a gasp followed by a hand covering his mouth and said, "That is so embarrasing!"

2-18-12

Mom: Kalvin, do you know who Nephi is?

Kalvin: Yes

Mom: Who?

Kalvin: The President of The United States.

2-16-12

Duane asked Kalvin to take his bike out to the porch (because we've been letting the boys ride their bikes in the house).

Kalvin was being fairly sluggish about getting it out and the cold air was coming in from outside. Duane helped to get the bike out quicker and accidentaly hit Kalvin's toe on the way out. Kalvin hopped around the living room saying, "Ouch.. Ouch..."

Duane looked at him and said, "You didn't get hurt did you?"

Kalvin: "Yeah, you hurt my foot."

Duane: "No, I didn't," ask he walked into the dining room.

Kalvin immediately chased him down, grabbed hold of his leg and sat on Duane's foot and said, "I love you, even when you're naughty," and continued to be dragged along while sitting on Duane's foot till he got into the office.

I couldn't help but smile at this cute moment. We have got some great kids!

2-9-12

One phrase from Kalvin's blessing on the food: "Bless the blessings that they can be good."

2-8-12While playing at the playground at the mall Duane was chasing and playing with the boys. Then Duane sat down for a break. Soon after Duane took a seat, Tristen said, "Get off the couch and chase me!" in a playful teasing tone.

1-29-12

Mom: Here's a wipe Tristen, clean your mouth.

Tristen: Me Mowf?

Mom: Yes.

Then I see Tristen stuffing a wipe in his mouth.

8-1-11 Kalvin was helping me at a neighbor, Susan's house after she was injured in a work related accident where she fell off a ladder from 10 feet up and broke her shoulder and fractured her hip and cracked her head. Luckily, she has no problems that are really, really bad.

Kalvin was looking around the house while talking Susan's ear off with questions and stories of things he had done when he found something that looked interesting.

Kal: What is this?

Susan: A coffee maker. Do your parents drink coffee?

Kal: No, because it's bad for your body.

I was so proud of him for knowing that! They really do listen when you talk to them (and at church).

6-19-11

Kal: Mom! I printed these pages off all by myself because my brains are cool!

6-15-11

Kal to neighbor: "Why are you putting that (cigarette) in your mouth?"

Neighbor: "Ahh..." then he went back in his house.

6-12-11

Duane has been scarring the kids into brushing their teeth each night saying that there's bugs that he needs to clean away.

So, one morening, Tristen said, "Bug!" as he pointed to his mouth. After rambling something about the bug in his mouth, he jumped down from the table where we were eating, ran into the other room, grabbed the huge dartgun, put the end into his mouth and tried to reach the trigger while making shooting sounds. I guess that's another way to get rid of the bugs in your mouth (at least according to a two year old).

6-10-11

Today, Kalvin got lost in Walmart, again... but it was the first time he made it to Customer Service where I got a page over the intercom. Some nice woman had found him wondering and took him over where the Walmart worker had given him a cupcake.

The Walmart employee said, when I came over, "He was so good, he didn't even get upset."

The first thought that crossed my mind was, "Yeah, because it happens so often (and I'm sure it helped he was given a cupcake)."

Late May:

While shopping at Walmart, Kalvin wanted to buy a Spiderman hat. I was on the fence about whether or not I was going to get it for him, so I told Kalvin to ask Duane (knowing he was at work). Well, the phone rang and rang, then the answering machine came on and he left a message:

"Hi Dad, um, can I get a Spiderman hat? K, bye! .... He said YES!"

Early in May:

Kal to neighbor who's out in their backyard: "Why aren't you wearing your shirt?"

Neighbor: "Uh, because it's hot outside."

5 minutes later he came out with a shirt on.

6-8-11

Kal: Logan, look at my Spiderman hat!

Logan: Well, I have a Superman hat, he's stronger.

Kal: Well... Spiderman is strong too...

5-30-11

Kal: Yesterday, I prayed to Heavenly Father

Mom: Why?

Kal: Because he loves me.

Daddy: Good answer.

5-15ish-11

Kal: Mom, when am I going to be a girl?

As he watches Mom put on makeup.

5-15ish-11

Kal to neighbor who is in his mid 20's: Why aren't you wearing a shirt?

Neighbor: Because it's hot outside.

5 minutes later he comes back outside with a shirt on.

5-4-11

Kal: "Mom, let me pull out your hair."

Mom: "No, why? No. I don't like that. I don't want you to pull my hair out."

Kal: "I don't want to pull out all your hair, just one."

Mom: "No, stop."

Kal: "Why because it will hurt?"

Mom "Yeah, I don't like that. Let me pull one of your hairs out first."

Kal: "No, that will hurt!"

5-2-11

Mom: Kalvin! What are you doing with that weed killing POISON?!!

Kal: Just spraying the weeds.

Mom: No! Give that to me, I don't want you playing with poison!

Mom takes it away.

Kal: But mom, I just want to kill something!

5-1-11

Mom: "Kalvin, what are you doing with that weeding killing poison?!"

Kal: "I'm just spraying the ground."

Mom: "No, I don't like you using that. It's poison and could hurt you or Tristen. Give it to me."

Then, as I'm putting it away...

Kal: "But I just want to kill something."

4-3-11

As Kalvin is getting the dental floss out: "We only get a little bit of frosting, right Mom?"

4-1-11

Kal to Trist: Remember the choo, choo?!!!

Kal: Well, it's broken.

3-27-11

Tristens first two very distinct words together "Daddy Work".

He had been hearing Duane was work upstairs, looked at me with raised eyebrows and said something that sounded like "What's that?!" Then I said, "Is Daddy working?" to which he replied "Daddy work!"

Too bad it wasn't something like "Daddy play". As much as Duane would love to play more (and with the kids), he ends up working A LOT!

3-5-11

3 Days ago:

Kal: "Dallin, what are you doing?"

Dallin: "Whatever I feel like."

Tonight:

Cousin Randy to Kal: "What are you doing?"

Kal: "Whatever I want."

They listen to everything you say...

2-23-11

Grandpa Mick: "Kalvin. Time for prayer."

(Kalvin comes in with his hands behind his back)

Aunt Ruth: "Kalvin have you been up to trouble?"

Kal: "No." (with a guilty look on his face)

Grandpa looks behind Kalvin and starts laughing

Grandpa: Kalvin has C-A-N-D-Y

(Everyone starts laughing)

Grandpa: "Give me five Clyde!"

Kalvin gives high five then says, "My name is Kalvin."

2-9-11

Kal to Mom (in a tattle-telling tone): "Tristen is playing with Daddies tools..."

Kal to Trist: "Tristen, Jesus Christ is watching you!"

1-28-11

Mom: "Kalvin, look at the glitter come down from the sky!" (The falling snow literally looked like glitter, because it was SO small and shimmered like ice)

Kalvin watched for a moment.

Kal: "It looks kind of like snow."

1-24-11

Lately, Kal's been in this phase of "making up" new cakes and he thinks it's so flippin hillarious!

Kal: How about house cake?! HAHAHAHA!

or ice cream cake? HAHAHAH!

Mom: Actually, there is such a thing as ice cream cake and it's very good!

Kal: Well, how about cheese cake?! HAHAHAHA!

1-21-11

Kal: Mommy, where's my blanket?

Mom: Hmm, where did you have it last? .... (thinking) .... maybe it's in the office.

Kalvin runs out of the kitchen and is back within a few moments.

Kal: Look Mommy! I found it!

Mommy: Oh, good! I'm glad you found it!

Kal: Your welcome.

1-11-11

As of lately, Tristen is being bit of a tease to Kalvin by hitting him often throughout the day... I've tried my best to help Kalvin talk to the baby after he's been hit to tell Tristen not to hit because it hurts his (Kalvin's) feelings.

I was in the other room and over heard this:

Kal: "Ouch! Baby, don't hit me!"--Kalvin getting frustrated and breathing short and quick, then he stops and says in a quiet and calm tone,, "Baby, don't hit me because it... owe !" and then Kalvin starts to cry because Tristen hit him again.

Mom Wondering: 'Will Tristen ever grow out of this hitting phase?'

1-3-11

Kal: "Baby just hit me again and again! He hit me in New York City and he hit me here!"

1-2-11

Kal: "Baby hit me!"

Daddy: "What should we do?"

pause.

Daddy: "Should we hit him back?"

Kal: "Yeah!"

Daddy: "How would hitting him back make you feel? Happy or sad?"

Kal: "Sad."

Daddy: "So what should we do with the baby?"

Kal: Spank him?

12-7-10

This morning Kalvin asked for bread for breakfast then he asked for a drink of water and exclaimed: "Mom, you are the sacrament."

10-19-10

"Not again!" Kalvin said when he diarrheaed his pants once more.

10-14-10

Even Kalvin knows that wearing socks with sandals is weird. He was already wearing socks and I had asked him to put his sandals on, when I looked at him next, he only had sandals on. Way to go, Kalvin!

10-14-10

While eating Grandpa Mickelson's pumkin pie, Kalvin said, "Mmm, this is very good for my body!"

10-13-10

Kalvin had never been to the Drive In Movies so I was telling him about how they work, he said in an excited-to-go voice, "That's cool!"

I continued and told him how big the screen was and that we were able to sit OUTSIDE to watch then he said in a sophisticated tone, "That's very scientific."

10-12-10

While looking through Grandma and Grandpa Mickelson's 2004 Genesis Book of World Records, Kalvin saw the man who had the largest waist, Kalvin said, "He growed too big, Mommy!" (He said it in a very concerned voice).

9-28-10

I am often paranoid about running into the car in front of me while driving. A car stopped suddenly in front of me to turn left into a shopping center and I (probably over reacted) stomped on the brakes to stop quickly. From the back seat I heard Tristen, "Woah!" and Kalvin, "Those are good brakes, Mom!"

9-25-10

I was driving down the road in Albany and a car stopped suddenly a couple hundred yards in front of me and it shocked me into slamming the brakes.

From the back seat Kalvin said, "Woah, Mommy, those are good brakes!"

7-21-10

Kal: "NO! Don't ever, EVER do that again!" (yell-crying)

Mom: "What's wrong?"

Kal: "My socks are playing games. I don't want to wear them."

(I guess he was having a hard time getting them on himself.)

7-20-10 After loosing his Super Readers cape Kalvin asked: "Where's my dress?"

6-21-10

K: Don't crash into peoples houses, Mommy. Just stay on the road.

Another time that day while traveling on the road:

K: I don't want to go home, Mommy.

Mom: Why?

K: I want to pick Daddy up from work.